Here is a technique that I learned personally from Martha Stewart. No, not THAT Martha Stewart. I’m talking about the one that lives in a trailer in Wind Gap and drinks blueberry schnapps at lunch everyday.Fake poop is always good for a laugh. You can easily make your own fake poop from some old newspapers and Elmers Glue. Fake poop can really brighten up a room; much more so than real poop.
Here are the materials you’ll need: paper pulp (see below), Elmers glue, a large bowl, wax paper or freezer paper, a stick for mixing
A note about paper pulp…you can make your own paper pulp from old newspapers. It’s a pain in the arse because you have to boil the paper, strain it, let it dry, and grind it up. It’s a lengthy process. Or you can buy it from the craft store (it’s stupidly expensive there, don’t do it!). Or, my preference, you can get it from a home improvement store in the form of cellulose insulation. The insulation, which is the blown-in type, is actually ground up newspapers and telephone books. It’s economical too. A big giant bag of it costs about $20.
To make the poop you’ll need to eat a really big lunch…wait…wrong instructions. To make the FAKE poop you can add a handful of the pulp to a large bowl, then dump (hee, hee) in a small amount of glue. The consistency that you are aiming for is that of clay. You want it to be moldable and hold its shape while it dries. Mix it all up with the stick and even get your hands in there. You may need to add a little more glue if the mixture is too dry. It is easier to add more glue than more pulp so add small amounts of glue at a time.
Once you’ve got a nice clay-like consistency you can start molding. Mold it into ropes just like you did with Play Dough when you were six. You can shape it into a nice healthy pile by coiling it and twisting it. Do this on wax paper or freezer paper so it doesn’t stick. When you get it how you want it, leave it on the wax paper to dry. The best thing would be to put it on a radiator or in front of a fan. The faster it dries the better it will hold its shape. Tip: you can make different types of poop. Human poop, dog poop, cat poop, even rabbit poop. Just study the real versions and copy what you see. You can even make a dog-poop-henge in hopes of making it onto the pages of CloneHenge.
When completely dry (it will take a few days to really get hard) it will be wrinkled and a little shrunken and rock hard! A perfect piece of poo! Get some brown paint and paint it up. Now take it into work and put it on your boss’s desk.
As Martha from Wind Gap always says, “It’s a good thing.”
Here are the materials you’ll need: paper pulp (see below), Elmers glue, a large bowl, wax paper or freezer paper, a stick for mixing
A note about paper pulp…you can make your own paper pulp from old newspapers. It’s a pain in the arse because you have to boil the paper, strain it, let it dry, and grind it up. It’s a lengthy process. Or you can buy it from the craft store (it’s stupidly expensive there, don’t do it!). Or, my preference, you can get it from a home improvement store in the form of cellulose insulation. The insulation, which is the blown-in type, is actually ground up newspapers and telephone books. It’s economical too. A big giant bag of it costs about $20.
To make the poop you’ll need to eat a really big lunch…wait…wrong instructions. To make the FAKE poop you can add a handful of the pulp to a large bowl, then dump (hee, hee) in a small amount of glue. The consistency that you are aiming for is that of clay. You want it to be moldable and hold its shape while it dries. Mix it all up with the stick and even get your hands in there. You may need to add a little more glue if the mixture is too dry. It is easier to add more glue than more pulp so add small amounts of glue at a time.
Once you’ve got a nice clay-like consistency you can start molding. Mold it into ropes just like you did with Play Dough when you were six. You can shape it into a nice healthy pile by coiling it and twisting it. Do this on wax paper or freezer paper so it doesn’t stick. When you get it how you want it, leave it on the wax paper to dry. The best thing would be to put it on a radiator or in front of a fan. The faster it dries the better it will hold its shape. Tip: you can make different types of poop. Human poop, dog poop, cat poop, even rabbit poop. Just study the real versions and copy what you see. You can even make a dog-poop-henge in hopes of making it onto the pages of CloneHenge.
When completely dry (it will take a few days to really get hard) it will be wrinkled and a little shrunken and rock hard! A perfect piece of poo! Get some brown paint and paint it up. Now take it into work and put it on your boss’s desk.
As Martha from Wind Gap always says, “It’s a good thing.”
If you would like to submit one of your projects for us to highlight in the Maker Diaries please e-mail us at weirdnazareth@hotmail.com
